- My sister: There's this really slutty girl in my grade who I really don't like and she smokes weed and drinks a lot and has had a million boyfriends and she's made out with a ton of other guys too. She even had to delete her facebook, because this one time she got really drunk and posted naked pictures of herself there. She's awful.
- Me: You're in seventh grade.
- Her: Yeah?
- Me: I have lost all of the hope I had in the future generations.
i just really love actors that are twenty something years older than me
If I have a crush on you you should have one back
that’s how it works in the movies
“when one door closes, another one opens”
imagine how annoying it would be if that were true
you close the bathroom door to pee and your front door suddenly blows open
your cat escapes
you run out and jump into the car to chase the cat and hear everything falling out of your over-stuffed pantry as its door unlatches
Reblog if you like any or all of these things.
- Panic! At the Disco
- Fall Out Boy
- Harry Potter
- One Direction
the two things i fear the most
- that ‘come what may’ never happens
- that cooper sucks
- every time somebody dies on tv
- me: NO NO THEY'RE NOT DEAD TURN AROUND THEY'RE FAKING IT THEY'RE GOING TO ATTACK YOU THEY'RE GOING TO JUMP OH GOD GOTTA PREPARE MYSELF FOR THE JUMP
- me: OH GOD
- me: STOP
- me: JESUS
- me: okay no they are dead
- me: ahhh time for some sleep
- blankets: wait i'm sorry i forgot to bunch up around your torso i know how you like your feet ice cold
- legs: would now be the time to thrash violently i think yes
- brain: let's review some repressed childhood memories for da lulz
- stomach: let me just hurt for an hour
- arm: i'm falling asleep now bye
- bladder: suddenly i'm full wow how'd that happen
- bowels: you have to poop real bad here have some farts
- pet: your face is comfy
- me: fuck